One Month
So I've been in Indiana for one month, and things are finally settling into place. Even though I still don't have a full time job, I am working at the Restaurant everyday this next week, and I'm getting about 20 hours a week at the Mall. So far so good I suppose, I finally have a bit of money in my pocket to take care of some bills, and get a couple more black skirts and black skirts for the Restaurant.
Last night was my first real night at the Restaurant. I only had three tables, and still came home with just short of $100. Things will pick up at the Restaurant too, I'm sure. It's close to the mall, and everyone is out Christmas shopping something fierce! The only thing is, I was so nervous the entire night! I think it might have shown through on a couple of tables, so hopefully on Monday my nerves will be better and I can be my usual charismatic self, and get that money honey!
I don't do much besides work. I checked out the public library, and it has a really good selection of new books, written in the last few years, which I always thought the Chicago libraries were kind of lacking (or else they were always checked out) I love libraries. I love bookstores too. I love spending all day there. Just reading, maybe sipping on some coffee.
Today is my day off, and since I'm feeling a little random and scattered today, I'm just going to chill, maybe run, maybe watch a good movie, and organize some finances that I can finally start paying since I'm finally making some money!
Thanksgiving - Live blogging style
11:15 am Mom/Martha-wannabe is scurrying around the kitchen. Currently, she is trying to pull the balls out of the turkey, but spilling all this water from the sink all over the floor. She begged me not to take a picture, so I won't. Luckily she pre-made a lot of the meal throughout the week, so she wouldn't get over whelmed today, which often happens. Dad is desperately trying to unclog a toilet (don't ask). Joey is still in bed, he most likely won't be up for another hour. I'm watching the parade! I woke up just in time to see the Rockette's. I love the Rockette's! My Grandma did too, and every year she would call me while she was cooking to make sure I was watching it. I miss her, but watching the Rockette's brings back a lot of memories. David Arculeta is such a goober. And that girl that sings "Nothing but Your T-Shirt On" almost fell off her float.
11:26 am Toilet unclogged but big mess. Turkey neutered, but even bigger mess. Oooo Ashanti! Where has she been? Joey's awake!
11:32 am The Tale of Despereaux is a movie? Awesome! What a cute book, yes I know it's a children's book, but I read it on a road trip once. Aww a Special Colorguard, how sweet. Chloe the holiday clown? Creepy. Al Roker's jokes are even more lame that my dad's. Is Miranda Cosgrove the girl from School of Rock?
11:43 am CARE BEARS! ON ICE SKATES! I just screamed that, and now Joey is laughing at me. Did you know that was my nickname when I was a kid? And every birthday and Christmas I got a whole bunch of Care Bear memorabilia. Like the dolls, and the playsets, and the movies and even a sleeping bag with matching pajamas. Sometimes my mom still gets me that crap as a joke.
12:00 noon Ugh, I'm not about to watch the dog show. Thanksgiving is pretty boring without any aunts, uncles, or cousins. I tried to convince my family we should dress up like Pilgrims and Indians, since it was just the 4 of us, but the respectfully declined. I know we did it once when we were little, I gotta try and dig up that picture. I'm gonna go for a run now, and then come back and shower. I'll be back in an hour, which will hopefully be time to eat!
1:00pm I AM STARVING! And we aren't going to eat for another hour! Do I starve my self, or do I ruin my appetite with a bowl of cereal? Bowl of cereal it is. Aw snap! Jon and Kate Plus 8 Marathon? Holla! Now I have something to flip to when I get a little tired of football. We are going to have family pictures today, so I can't wear sweatpants to dinner.
Gray headband, gray sweater, and gray corduroys. I match my new bedroom, and my mood.
Sorry so blurry, I got frustrated and quit.
Not everything is gray though! I hate socks. And I really hate colorful socks. But I'm trying to please mommy dearest. The holidays are all for her anyway.
1:53 pm OMG I am starving! The table is set, so you know what that means - it's almost time to eat!
2:40 pm I'm not too hungry anymore, because I've eaten about a whole jar's worth of pickles. The turkey has popped, but now we are just waiting on our sides. Clearly this was not very carefully planned. I can't wait to eat, drink, and pass out on the couch.
2:55 pm Dad is cutting the turkey! Hallelluiah! Joey's filling the water glasses, and I'm still parked on the couch because I'm too hungry to move. Dinerrrrrr is serrrrrrrved. Peace out, I'll be back in a little bit, unless I'm in a food coma!
3:44 pm We ate some turkey, garlic mashed potatoes, baked beans, stuffing, corn, squash and biscuits and it was amazing. That and the Pinot Grigio yum yum. We also went around the table and said what we are thankful for. My mom and dad both said something thoughtful, Joey said he is thankful he got out of bed before 2pm, and I was thankful for wireless internet and cable TV. Ya can't please everybody. Time to read a book and lay down for a nap.
7:20 pm DANG. I passed the eff out! We watching football one minute and the next: ZZZZZZ.... I was out but it felt good. Must have been all that wine and tryptophan. But I woke up just in time for pie. Mom made pumpkin chocolate cheesecake and apple pie. I of course had one of each! Now we're getting ready to take some pictures and play some board games.
Everything has changed
I miss
- seeing the Museum of Science and Industry every morning from my train platform.
- taking the Metra downtown every morning.
- Millennium Station.
- Gal's Guide Events.
- my neighborhood Walgreen's and Treasure Island.
- Potbelly's.
- my old coworkers.
- Bally's Total Fitness
- the beach.
- Grant Park.
- the constant noise of the traffic.
- the fast pace of downtown.
- the Harold Washington Library.
- $8 pedicures
- riding my bike to the lake
- 57th St Salon.
- Robin Robinson.
- the skyline.
- Chicago.
Dilemma
So I'm in somewhat of a dilemma.
Since moving back home, I have completely purged. I've decided I'm going to live as simply as possible, especially since I feel like I'm moving around so much, and not really sure where I'm about to end up. I have a fairly large book, dvd, and cd collection, and I'm trying to minimize them. I got rid of all my dvd cases and put the discs in a folder. I put all of my music onto my laptop. I'm selling most of my books and plan on solely depending on the library from now on instead of buying any new books.
Here's the tricky part:
I really want to read this. I have gotten into the HBO series True Blood, and I guess peer pressure has gotten the best of me.
BUT, all of the copies have been checked out at my library.
And I don't want to buy one.
Does anyone have a copy that they can loan me? I will pay you for shipping. Email me at carrieleablogs@gmail.com
My visit, Part Two
I'm driving along and everything is fine until about an hour outside the city. All of a sudden, I'm in the middle of a blizzard!! Big huge quarter-sized wet snowflakes are falling, and there is already about 2 inches of slush on the highway. So I reduce my speed, and notice in my rear view mirror that a semi is passing me on the left, and that there is another one coming up behind me. Then, I start fish tailing, and I panic. I am about to slide into the semi next to me, and if I slam on the brakes then the semi behind me will plow into me. I aim for the foot wide shoulder, but keep sliding. And I go straight down off the shoulder into the ditch!
I scream and scream and hold onto the steering wheel for dear life. I'm crying and panicking, and finally realize that I have stopped moving. So I open my eyes and look around, and sure enough I'm alive!! Thank God! I turn the Jeep off, and immediately call S, and then my brother.
No damage whatsoever to the Jeep, thankfully, and I drive it out of the ditch and back onto the highway. We decide that my best option is just to turn around and head back to Chicago for one more night.
S said that I didn't have to risk my life just to spend another night with him. Joey said I'm an idiot for trying to drive through a snow storm.
I'm just happy I didn't get hurt, or hurt the Jeep.
And I'm also very happy I got to snuggle up with S one more night.
I miss him.
My visit Part One
I left around 8:30 on Sunday morning. The drive was easy, and luckily the time change was in my favor, and even though it was a 3 hour drive, I arrived at 10:30 in Chicago time. The tears hit as I was driving along Stony Island heading into my old neighborhood. I really love Hyde Park. And the sun was shining just right; it made it a beautiful scene, especially since I could see the skyline in the background.
I can't believe it has been a month since I have seen Chicago.
My apartment building looked exactly like it did when we moved in last December. Since I still had my keys, I let myself in and went up to our unit.
S was waiting for me in the kitchen, and I was kind of shocked at how he looked. It was almost like I didn't recognize him. He seemed taller, and skinnier and darker. But we embraced, and I sobbed. It felt so good to be back in his arms again. He surprised me with flowers, champagne, strawberries and chocolates. But what was really shocking was the apartment. I left all of my furniture, my dishes, my towels and my bedding. And it all looked different. He had rearranged the living room and added a rug and a table. And it was clean, which considering his old apartment in small town Iowa, that was a complete shocker.
So we sat, and snacked, and drank, and talked, and had a movie marathon the entire day. It was great. After the first intial tears and shock of seeing each other for the first time in a month, it felt comfortable again. He loved my new haircut and my new glasses. He was surprised about how different I looked, and by how slim I've gotten.
He made a great chicken dinner, and afterwards we bundled up and went for a walk down to our favorite place at the lake. We were buzzing pretty well, so we decided to go home and call it an early night in be, if you know what I mean *wink*
We slept in on Monday, and S made pancakes and eggs. While he was cooking, I was packing. I managed to get everything in 3 boxes and a bag, plus my bike and printer. After breakfast we sat and talked some more. I don't want to go into detail yet, but it was great to get a lot of things off my chest, and understand his point of view. We talked about the past, both the great memories and also some bad. We talked about the future, and where we are supposed to go from here. It was nice. He palyed me some of his new music, and we danced in the living room. We did everything we used to do everyday; everything that we always took for granted, because it was just making a meal, or just watching TV. But when it's gone, it's amazing how you really miss the little things. Like waking up to him facing me with those eye boogers, and the way he hogs all the covers when he rolls over. Or the way he butters my pancakes and peppers my eggs just right. He even had the cupboards stocke with my favorite snacks and the fridge full of Diet Pepsi.
I had to leave Monday evening, because I had to work at the mall Tuesday morning. So I left Chicago at 5pm. I was going to leave at 3, but after watching the forecast I decided to leave a little later so I would avoid some of the flurries that were heading toward NE Indiana.
We said our goodbyes, but it was no longer sad, because I know I'll see him again soon. I wouldn't exacly say we are back together, but I'm not exactly single anymore either. We plan on spending our birthdays together in 3 weeks, and I'll be back in Chicago to spend Christmas with his family. We are working on a lot of things, so eventually we can get back to "getting back together."
So I hopped in the car and took off down I-90. The drive was fine until about 45 minutes outside of the city. I was on the south side of the lake, and have you ever heard of "lake effect snow"? Yeah... not good at all, expecially in your brothers Jeep Cherokee that you aren't used to driving, and WERE NEVER TOLD THAT YOU HAD TO PUT IT IN 4 WHEEL DRIVE. Thanks a lot JOEY. You'll never believe what happened next....
You can't talk me out of it
I'm going to visit S tomorrow.
Don't judge me.
I miss him. This whole learning-to-live-without-him thing has been the most difficult thing I have ever done.
So, I'm leaving in about 8 hours, and I'm taking my brother's Jeep. I have a lot of things in my apartment that I want to get, including my winter coats.
And, I'm spending the night. And leaving Monday evening.
He has a lot of romance planned. And I'm really nervous. Mostly because I know I won't want to leave.
Can I live here? Can I have her life?
So I love this studio. I want to duplicate it in the next place I live. Like exactly. Because the next place I live, is going to be a studio. In either Chicago or New York City. And I'm going to live by myself. As I found out on my internships, I absolutely love living by myself. Not that I hated living with S, because in fact, I loved it. But I don't see myself moving back in with S anytime soon, and I don't really respond well to random roommates. Plus I just love having my own stuff and my own space. I've got to find a way to make this possible.
And by the way... this chick is a professional organizer! Now, how do you suppose you get a job like that? Because that would be my dream job! I didn't even know that existed! I'm going to have to research this...
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